One of the most fascinating but off limits toys around is the dishwasher.  The movements!  The sounds!  What does it all do?  How does it all work?  Sliding, clanking, clattering, massive parent attention from all quarters!  (That part, at least, I understand!)

One recent day, M&D and I agreed to a dishwasher session so long as the flatware was removed from play.  Suckers!  I’ll take whatever I can get!  Wooo hooo!

But seriously, this was lots of fun.  And M&D, please take note: I didn’t break anything, so that means I get to play in the dishwasher again, right?

Ummm… I’m not doing anything Mr. Photographer.   You’re not going to tell M&D, are you?

(Ed. Note: Luckily for all parties involved, the stand base is more stable than it looks!)

M&D keep the best stuff in drawers.  The problem is that I’m just…not…tall…enough to reach in and get all that good stuff out.

To address this issue, I’m growing taller and learning to use my tippy toes.   This works, but isn’t moving the process along as fast as I would like.  So I’m also experimenting with wishful thinking, telekinesis, and outright crying, which can be quicker, but has met with mixed results so far.

Check out the latest high tech toddler-ware!  The Google diaper!  First Internet search, then email, maps… You knew that diapers couldn’t be far behind.  (Google knows that new parents will buy anything!  And this is something they can actually charge for!)

OK, so they’re not really Google diapers, but Google, if you ever decide to produce you’re own line of diapers, I expect compensation for my idea!

Here I am, once again making my contribution to the world of fashion.

Today’s tots yearn for simple lines and bold colors, but with a tie back to their parents’ and heritage.  Thus, I present the amazing featherless feather boa!

Bold, masculine colors, yet soft feminine curves!  Austere, but cute!

No child should be without this must-have go-anywhere accessory!

The other day, I became acquainted with a new career option: Plastic Surgery!

During my first attempt at rhinoplasty, I discovered that most surgeons (a) don’t operate on themselves, and (b) use instruments less blunt than a concrete sidewalk when going to work.

I guess I still have a few things to learn.  But then again, I’m only 1.

I had a great first birthday weekend extravaganza!  My Ma and Pa, and Grandpa and Mr. Alton came to visit.  And yesterday, the Knapps all came over to visit and sing to me!

Mommy handled delivery of my first cupcake.  I think the following sequence says it all:

Turns out those wascally cupcakes can be tough to eat!  But I got a piece of ’em!

(Ed. Note: Ben, I’m sure you’ll know what to do when next year rolls around!)

Now that I can walk around, I’ve decided to help M&D with some of the housework.  The dust-mop is one of my favorite toys cleaning tools.  I like to push it all over the kitchen.  Daddy says if I really work hard, I might be good enough to be a chimney sweep!

Ummm… I’m not doing anything.  Honest.   Ignore the man behind the car pajamas.   Mffmmrmmllgghhh!!

Just call me Quail.  Ben Quail.

(Ed. Note: Quantum of Cuteness, anyone?)